A month has passed..............

Its been a month since we said good bye to you sweet boy. I cant believe you arent here with us, I cant believe its been a month. The time seemed to pass so slow but some how, we got here so fast. I Think about you every day. I wonder how your little kicks would feel and how much I would be showing right now. Its so hard, I HATE this. Some days are just so overwhelming for me. I come to work, but I am not sure if I am really here...

I dream about you often, some are good and you are a little baby and I am holding you, and some....not so good. I hate when they arent good, I get woken by them and I cant seem to go back to sleep. I know that the days of good are coming quite more often than the bad but it dont make the bad days any better.

Though you were only with us for a short time I had plans for you, thoughts of how you would look, what you would be. Losing you has been so hard in dealing with those feelings. I dont get to see you smile and grow and learn. The plans I had for you have been ripped away from me, and at times its too unbearable to think about. No one should have to feel this pain, and although we know God has a plan, it dont make the sadness, anger, or emptyness I feel go away. I will get to be with you again one day and that will be GLORIOUS DAY!

Happy One month birthday Vann Myles. I love you and miss you bunches! xoxo, MOMMY